It was a day I will never forget. After a long day of touristing through one of the oldest cities in the world, my team and I were returning to our apartment in a western neighborhood of Istanbul. Finally reaching the door, I mindlessly placed the odd, screwdriver-shaped key up to the second hole. Wait…. Second hole? I only remember there being one. That’s when it all fell apart.
The extra hole was new. Newly drilled by someone who invited themselves into our home while we were out wondering around. The following waterfall of events took place in somewhat of a daze: a phone call in broken Turkish to police. Waiting. Rushing to tell the other half of our team. Wondering what would be missing. Waiting. Another phone call. Help from an acquaintance. Police. Detectives. Gone: four laptops, a camera, and a passport. Our apartment had been ransacked.
Do you know what the difference between searching and ransacking is? When a person searches, he is motivated; when a person ransacks, he is desperate. One wants to find; the other needs to find. Nothing is more important than the intended target.
Search My Heart
It is for this reason that the David writes in Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, Oh God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. “
In the Hebrew, the language David chooses here is intentional. He is not asking God to help him find something; he is asking God to ransack his heart. Take no thought for anything else. Find anything and everything in my heart that is contrary to you, and lead me in Your ways—regardless of the collateral damage.